It is inconceivable the degree of stress all these appointments create in my world. I am fairly even keel and try to roll with the punches, but I feel like the amateur boxer in the ring with Tyson. Oh, my head!
I have been looking forward to this day for 3 weeks now. This will be the day that sets the record straight! Where the world is Jillian's placenta? Complete? Partial? Marginal? Mobile? Rooted? Hopeful? or Resigned? I arrive to my familiar location at 8th and Spruce. Dr Sehdev is still away; good third opinions need 3rd parties. I check in and mention I need to add my ultrasound report from Bryn Mawr to my chart. And then it begins....
What's your name?
When's your appointment?
hold on...
They are truly insanely busy with hardly a second to breathe?
What's your name?
Ok, when did you have an appointment?
Can you please step aside so I can help this lady? thanks.
(Oh my god... What's happening?)
"It says here you canceled you appointment."
Impossible.
"It says you called to move your appointment to the 21st and then called back and canceled it."
Impossible.
"You called on April 1st and called again and canceled.
IMPOSSIBLE!
I NEVER CANCELED THIS APPOINTMENT! IT MEANS TOO MUCH TO ME!
(Oh my god! Why is this happening?)
and yeah,
there I am with 2 ladies with no time to breathe telling me this is the story and they're sticking to it.... There's just no time today, completely overbooked already!
And I can see it coming.... "just call this number and schedule for another ultrasound" yeah, right for when? the week before the baby's due?
"No," I say. I 'm going to see Lynn and see if she can't help me somehow.
And that's what I did, I walked one block away to see Lynn and knew she could fix this.
And she was great!
She talked to me for nearly an hour. And made a call or two and we both played detective trying to figure out how this could have happened. I knew what I knew that I had never called to cancel and she knew what she knew which is even though they are kind of nuts "over there", they're pretty on top of things. Hence the notes about me calling and me rescheduling and me canceling.
After looking and looking in my agenda, comparing dates and erased penciled in appointment dates, I began to put it all together. April 1st would have been the day I was told by the Bryn Mawr Birthing Center to get another ultrasound. I would have been calling everyone under creation to try to get that appointment. Everybody but Penn Hospital. But I did call HUP and I did schedule with them and then I did call back and cancel because I had found one for earlier at Bryn Mawr Hospital. And as I have since learned, HUP and Penn Hospital, although different locations, with different, charts and phone numbers for scheduling, are essentially the same. When I book for one it as if I book for both or the other.... which is what happened. Instead of scheduling me for a NEW appointment at HUP and keeping my original appointment at Penn, they "moved" by appointment to an earlier date (without confirming) and then when I called back to cancel, they did just that. They canceled the appointment and I was without my follow up ultrasound at Penn. The one that now seems so incredibly important.
I need clarity and continuity and that appointment.
Lynn sent me home and I waited.
And when she called, she called with good news. I have an appointment for Monday!
Ok, maybe everyday counts here! Four more days for placenta migration!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
intact or cut? that is the question
God this pregnancy bit is good training for parenthood.
Andrew and I have had so many discussions regarding so many topics so far. And the top most difficult ones have been whether or not to get an amniocentesis and if we should circumcise the baby. Andrew has been a solid YES from the beginning and I had been a clear NO until this week and doubt began to course through my veins. Everything in my being is opposed to humans mucking around with what mother nature has put in place. I have always my highly suspect of the medical industry as a whole in general. Trusting to my own body to inform me as to what's right and wrong. Trusting the body's ability to heal and trusting that nature has created humans as evolutionarily perfect. I believe that which needs to be modified is changed over time and naturally evolves.
It's amazing to me that this little piece of skin creates such an interesting and somewhat emotional debate. I imagine most men in the US are of the mind set to have the skin removed. And as such, Andrew isn't unusual. Most of my friends who have male boys now have decided against this procedure. Which I find refreshing, fathers and mothers, deciding that this is an unnecessary procedure that has plenty of negative consequences: poor cuts, infections, skin bridges, cut too much, cut too little, they typically do not use any form of analgesic and have to strap the babies down so they aren't accidentally cut. Baby suffers but the doctors don't consider the procedure very dire and so don't bother with pain preventing steps.
All this and that why introduce such trauma so soon into this new life? Why subject a trusting soul to an intense affront such as this immediately upon birth? It really seals the deal for me, NO!
After our meeting with Dr Tapper though I have thought I should better research the pros and cons and ask a few opinions about it. The responses on Facebook have been interesting and helpful, especially the men who say they'd prefer to have their foreskin or who'd decided not to cut their own sons even though they were. I think the times are such that more and more people are determining that this is an unnecessary procedure and should not be done purely for aesthetics.
Another point that weigh in on the con side is why remove perfectly healthy skin? I can understand removing infected or diseased skin, but how can the medical ideology embrace a procedure that basically place a tribal cutting ritual in the hospital setting to justify its position in our society?
I trust that eventually Andrew will be ok with this and not place us at odds in the eyes of our child. I think initially it will be hard for him to claim any responsibility to this decision. I know he won't, but I hope that it won't be a point of division for us. I know Andrew and I will have differing opinions on various topics from here on out but that ultimately these differences won't play a huge role in how we raise this child. It seems these small discussions are needed to pave way for the larger more pressing matters. Whether or not we chose to keep our boy's foreskin does not make us good parents. If only it could be so simple.
Andrew and I have had so many discussions regarding so many topics so far. And the top most difficult ones have been whether or not to get an amniocentesis and if we should circumcise the baby. Andrew has been a solid YES from the beginning and I had been a clear NO until this week and doubt began to course through my veins. Everything in my being is opposed to humans mucking around with what mother nature has put in place. I have always my highly suspect of the medical industry as a whole in general. Trusting to my own body to inform me as to what's right and wrong. Trusting the body's ability to heal and trusting that nature has created humans as evolutionarily perfect. I believe that which needs to be modified is changed over time and naturally evolves.
It's amazing to me that this little piece of skin creates such an interesting and somewhat emotional debate. I imagine most men in the US are of the mind set to have the skin removed. And as such, Andrew isn't unusual. Most of my friends who have male boys now have decided against this procedure. Which I find refreshing, fathers and mothers, deciding that this is an unnecessary procedure that has plenty of negative consequences: poor cuts, infections, skin bridges, cut too much, cut too little, they typically do not use any form of analgesic and have to strap the babies down so they aren't accidentally cut. Baby suffers but the doctors don't consider the procedure very dire and so don't bother with pain preventing steps.
All this and that why introduce such trauma so soon into this new life? Why subject a trusting soul to an intense affront such as this immediately upon birth? It really seals the deal for me, NO!
After our meeting with Dr Tapper though I have thought I should better research the pros and cons and ask a few opinions about it. The responses on Facebook have been interesting and helpful, especially the men who say they'd prefer to have their foreskin or who'd decided not to cut their own sons even though they were. I think the times are such that more and more people are determining that this is an unnecessary procedure and should not be done purely for aesthetics.
Another point that weigh in on the con side is why remove perfectly healthy skin? I can understand removing infected or diseased skin, but how can the medical ideology embrace a procedure that basically place a tribal cutting ritual in the hospital setting to justify its position in our society?
I trust that eventually Andrew will be ok with this and not place us at odds in the eyes of our child. I think initially it will be hard for him to claim any responsibility to this decision. I know he won't, but I hope that it won't be a point of division for us. I know Andrew and I will have differing opinions on various topics from here on out but that ultimately these differences won't play a huge role in how we raise this child. It seems these small discussions are needed to pave way for the larger more pressing matters. Whether or not we chose to keep our boy's foreskin does not make us good parents. If only it could be so simple.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
finding a pediatrician
Well, really it seemed easy enough. Andrew's doctor was Dr Tapper and he LOVED this man. He said he looked forward to going to get his shots! Wow! So this man is gifted with kids. I like that. And it turns out he takes state reimbursed insurance. A miracle! So today we met with Dr Tapper at one of his offices to do a prenatal appointment.
It was mostly to get to know each other and for me to feel him out. Andrew, of course, loves him! He seems conservative and with kids I think that is a good thing. He said things that brought me comfort, like he's not a big user of antibiotics, that he has an on call physician for kids' illness concerns/questions, free of charge. He generally is open to modifying the vaccine schedule, like he'll space things out a bit more if so desired. And he said that circumcision isn't medically necessary, that it is an elective surgery that the parents need to make the decision on. He did say there is evidence that shows a slight reduced risk for penis cancer and slightly low rate of STD transmission in uncircumcised men.
Ah the golden words for Andrew. Medical benefits! I think he and I will be on opposite sides of this fence for a long time. But at least we are in agreement that Dr Tapper and associates will be our baby's doctors.
Another thing off the list!
It was mostly to get to know each other and for me to feel him out. Andrew, of course, loves him! He seems conservative and with kids I think that is a good thing. He said things that brought me comfort, like he's not a big user of antibiotics, that he has an on call physician for kids' illness concerns/questions, free of charge. He generally is open to modifying the vaccine schedule, like he'll space things out a bit more if so desired. And he said that circumcision isn't medically necessary, that it is an elective surgery that the parents need to make the decision on. He did say there is evidence that shows a slight reduced risk for penis cancer and slightly low rate of STD transmission in uncircumcised men.
Ah the golden words for Andrew. Medical benefits! I think he and I will be on opposite sides of this fence for a long time. But at least we are in agreement that Dr Tapper and associates will be our baby's doctors.
Another thing off the list!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Meet the Doctor
Wow, what a nice experience I had! I went to my magically-moved-ahead-by-Lynn OB appointment today at the Womens Children Health Services Clinic at Pennsylvania Hospital. It started out a bit hectic as Septa never came and so before I knew it I was going from walking block by block "waiting" for the bus to hauling ass to get to this incredibly privileged feeling appointment. Lynn pulled strings for me and now Septa was ruining it! I got to the corner of 7th and Spruce at 8:30 (my appt time) and couldn't find the entrance and thought I had the wrong address. Panic ensuing I called Andrew and then hung up when I saw the entrance was on the side of the building.... Heart was definitely pounding and I made it to the check in station with labored breath. Thank goodness she let me just sit right there while I filled out forms and she got a copy of my chart which I had in clutched hand!
Then I mentioned I was there by the help of Lynn and requested that if she was there I would love to see her as my nurse. We'll see....
The appointment went ahead easily enough. Blood pressure and heart rate taken, weight calculated. And then the trip to the bathroom, with a sterile cup and wipey. Hhhhhmmmm a noticeable difference to the birthing center. There you weighed yourself and peed in a little cup and did your protein trace and glucose screening on your own. Here a nice lady would be analyzing my pee for me. This is my preference as I could never really distinguish between the slightly bluish green block indicating normal range and the slightly more greenish blue block indicating trace proteins in the urine. And sometimes the block colors would bleed together and I'd frankly take an educated guess. Of course, I always guess normal!
The it was back to the examining room and time to get completely naked.... god, really? So, there I sat in a gown and in came the youngest doctor ever. She's probably a resident but sooo young, oh my goodness. However, very friendly and patient, not in a rush and this was good. She did a breast exam and listened to the baby's heart beat with a Doppler.... I noticed she had a little trouble finding the heartbeat. And I felt a bit strange about that. No one else seems to have any trouble finding the heartbeat. Anyways, she did not do a pap, um, duh... and it was wrapped up pretty quickly.
She did review my chart with me and noticed Bywn Mawr's ultrasound noting complete previa and ordered a cesarean for week 39. Then said because I have another ultrasound scheduled for the following Friday they could review things week by week. Meaning by the slim chance the placenta moves the cesarean will be canceled.
Then off to meet Lynn. What a great lady. She really took her time, reviewed my chart with me again.... and called to schedule my cesarean. There it is.... On the O.R. schedule.... June 12th at 1 pm. Even with all this I'm still hopeful that Bryn Mawr was wrong and the placenta is steadily making it's way upward. Even now, with dates on calendars, with Mom's told and talk of plane tickets starting, with all this, I am still a teeny tiny bit hopeful that we can just let the baby decide when he's ready.
Then I mentioned I was there by the help of Lynn and requested that if she was there I would love to see her as my nurse. We'll see....
The appointment went ahead easily enough. Blood pressure and heart rate taken, weight calculated. And then the trip to the bathroom, with a sterile cup and wipey. Hhhhhmmmm a noticeable difference to the birthing center. There you weighed yourself and peed in a little cup and did your protein trace and glucose screening on your own. Here a nice lady would be analyzing my pee for me. This is my preference as I could never really distinguish between the slightly bluish green block indicating normal range and the slightly more greenish blue block indicating trace proteins in the urine. And sometimes the block colors would bleed together and I'd frankly take an educated guess. Of course, I always guess normal!
The it was back to the examining room and time to get completely naked.... god, really? So, there I sat in a gown and in came the youngest doctor ever. She's probably a resident but sooo young, oh my goodness. However, very friendly and patient, not in a rush and this was good. She did a breast exam and listened to the baby's heart beat with a Doppler.... I noticed she had a little trouble finding the heartbeat. And I felt a bit strange about that. No one else seems to have any trouble finding the heartbeat. Anyways, she did not do a pap, um, duh... and it was wrapped up pretty quickly.
She did review my chart with me and noticed Bywn Mawr's ultrasound noting complete previa and ordered a cesarean for week 39. Then said because I have another ultrasound scheduled for the following Friday they could review things week by week. Meaning by the slim chance the placenta moves the cesarean will be canceled.
Then off to meet Lynn. What a great lady. She really took her time, reviewed my chart with me again.... and called to schedule my cesarean. There it is.... On the O.R. schedule.... June 12th at 1 pm. Even with all this I'm still hopeful that Bryn Mawr was wrong and the placenta is steadily making it's way upward. Even now, with dates on calendars, with Mom's told and talk of plane tickets starting, with all this, I am still a teeny tiny bit hopeful that we can just let the baby decide when he's ready.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Movement
So baby is getting bigger and his movements much more dramatic! It's crazy how quick he can move and that he prefers to have his head down and tickle my pubic bone and pluck my inguinal ligaments. uuugh, that feels weird. "What are you doing?"
Of course, I'm happy he's an active boy and I wonder just how much room he has in there... It must be a lot because I swear he still does complete laps in the uterus. He'll be butt up, then sideways across the bottom of my belly, then way over to the right and I'll lay on my left side again to get him back on the left. He really doesn't like it much anymore if I'm completely on my back. It's like he using Wilson as a punching bag, bumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbum! OOOoowhoa, ok, I'll roll over, dude. Andrew can even feel him move when we are lying side by side or tucked in comfortably on the couch. Yep, that was the baby! It's pretty amazing.
The baby's not the only thing moving. As of April 30th we will be in our new home! And as of now we are up to our bellies in boxes. And Andrew is both working full time and completing renovations on our new place, painting and moving whatever boxes I have filled, ready to go... It's crazy. When we're not at work we are at home, old or new, packing, loading, unloading, painting, spackling, cleaning....God what a difference having a big belly makes in this process. It actually drives me a bit crazy. I feel strong and capable but I've been repeatedly told "DO NOT LIFT HEAVY THINGS" so I don't. I just make heavy boxes and Andrew lifts them and puts them in our new place where they are out of the way. And that's how we go....
Of course, I'm happy he's an active boy and I wonder just how much room he has in there... It must be a lot because I swear he still does complete laps in the uterus. He'll be butt up, then sideways across the bottom of my belly, then way over to the right and I'll lay on my left side again to get him back on the left. He really doesn't like it much anymore if I'm completely on my back. It's like he using Wilson as a punching bag, bumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbum! OOOoowhoa, ok, I'll roll over, dude. Andrew can even feel him move when we are lying side by side or tucked in comfortably on the couch. Yep, that was the baby! It's pretty amazing.
The baby's not the only thing moving. As of April 30th we will be in our new home! And as of now we are up to our bellies in boxes. And Andrew is both working full time and completing renovations on our new place, painting and moving whatever boxes I have filled, ready to go... It's crazy. When we're not at work we are at home, old or new, packing, loading, unloading, painting, spackling, cleaning....God what a difference having a big belly makes in this process. It actually drives me a bit crazy. I feel strong and capable but I've been repeatedly told "DO NOT LIFT HEAVY THINGS" so I don't. I just make heavy boxes and Andrew lifts them and puts them in our new place where they are out of the way. And that's how we go....
Friday, April 17, 2009
the Awesome Lynn
Today was a turning point for me! I was feeling so crazy about my next prenatal visit being a monthplus away and a bit like an orphan in limbo between two fairly anonymous care providers. Yes, the midwives are great at the BMBC but they aren't mine anymore nor do I have a doctor that I trust and feel good about. I woke up with the thought that today was gonna super suck. Having to drive allll the way out there again and hear why I have to get medical care and pick up my chart and say outie to my dream of a natural, homey like birth....
Well, that does still suck, actually.
So, I'm doing my morning-get-ready-for-the-day business and Andrew is on the phone with Dr Tapper, his pediatrician from childhood. I'd asked him to call Dr Tapper just because I'd thought well, maybe he knows a few things more than we do. And indeed he did, like the name of another health clinic, Women Children Health Services, at Penn Hospital. I got right on the phone to them. Fingers crossed.... I got an appointment for May 4th! A whole week earlier! This seemed better already somehow. Crazy how I'm just beginning to accept my fate, but not before asking to speak with the triage nurse. (I'd learned from my call to HUP that these people, the nurses, may actually be able to do something, at least more than the scheduling operators, that's for sure.) So I was connected to the desk of Lynn. "Hi, My name is Jillian Bird and I have recently been diagnosed with complete previa......." and on went my tale. "If there's anything you can do....."
So there. My attempt at making things better than they already are. To not just accept my fate. Or be a voiceless, welfare mom lost thick in the system, over strained and under resourced. Lynn would be discussing my situation with her manager and calling me back.
And then I set off for my visit to BMBC. Would this be my last? Could I continue to get prenatal care even though I was to be changing care providers asap? Little orphan Jilly. I felt so small. So powerless.
So there I was in the waiting room at BMBC when my phone rang and it was the manager calling to schedule an appointment for me at WCHS. Could I be there by 12:30 today?...... uhhhhh, it's 12 and I'm in Bryn Mawr, 40 minutes away, (bummer).... No. Ok, how about Thursday at 8:30. ABSOLUTELY! Oh my god! I have an appointment on April 23rd at 8:30 am. And then I have my next ultrasound the following Friday! This is great! This is perfect! Adios Bryn Mawr Birthing Center. Give me my chart, I'm outta here!
Well, that does still suck, actually.
So, I'm doing my morning-get-ready-for-the-day business and Andrew is on the phone with Dr Tapper, his pediatrician from childhood. I'd asked him to call Dr Tapper just because I'd thought well, maybe he knows a few things more than we do. And indeed he did, like the name of another health clinic, Women Children Health Services, at Penn Hospital. I got right on the phone to them. Fingers crossed.... I got an appointment for May 4th! A whole week earlier! This seemed better already somehow. Crazy how I'm just beginning to accept my fate, but not before asking to speak with the triage nurse. (I'd learned from my call to HUP that these people, the nurses, may actually be able to do something, at least more than the scheduling operators, that's for sure.) So I was connected to the desk of Lynn. "Hi, My name is Jillian Bird and I have recently been diagnosed with complete previa......." and on went my tale. "If there's anything you can do....."
So there. My attempt at making things better than they already are. To not just accept my fate. Or be a voiceless, welfare mom lost thick in the system, over strained and under resourced. Lynn would be discussing my situation with her manager and calling me back.
And then I set off for my visit to BMBC. Would this be my last? Could I continue to get prenatal care even though I was to be changing care providers asap? Little orphan Jilly. I felt so small. So powerless.
So there I was in the waiting room at BMBC when my phone rang and it was the manager calling to schedule an appointment for me at WCHS. Could I be there by 12:30 today?...... uhhhhh, it's 12 and I'm in Bryn Mawr, 40 minutes away, (bummer).... No. Ok, how about Thursday at 8:30. ABSOLUTELY! Oh my god! I have an appointment on April 23rd at 8:30 am. And then I have my next ultrasound the following Friday! This is great! This is perfect! Adios Bryn Mawr Birthing Center. Give me my chart, I'm outta here!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Ommmmm OB.S.......
I haven't even wanted to acknowledge the reality of this week, but now with 3 days passed I feel I can begin to really feel what's coming up for me. Our ultrasound on Monday didn't give us the results we had hoped for. I had hoped for. In fact, the doctor who read the ultrasound said dooming news. That my cervix is completely covered, not partially, not marginally, but fully covered by the placenta. This is soooo not good. Sooooo beyond anything I'd expected to hear. What does this mean? As he put it, it's just bad luck.
And what is doubly painful is how hard it was to find this ultrasound appointment with this doctor. I'd spent all of April 1 on the phone trying to get an appointment ANYWHERE. I called the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, Lankenau Hospital, Thomas Jefferson University Hospital, and finally Bryn Mawr. And the only date I could get was 3 days AFTER the date the birthing center wanted me seen by. Also, I was sure that in 2 weeks not much would have changed in the realm of my placenta moving upward. So, I was becoming more comfortable with the idea that I would likely birth under obstetric care in the hospital, but NEVER did I think I would be facing a cesarean birth with no option or possibility for labor. Complete placenta previa, complete bummer...
And now the calls begin again. How do I find an OB to deliver my baby when I don't even have a gynecologist? Today, 2 full days into calls, I still don't have an appointment. I've called everyone that's been recommended to me. And what is apparent is that if you are on medicaid you aren't gonna be seen by a private practicing obstetrician. As one lady put it, there's just no money in state reimbursed insurance. She also said she would look into a place that might take Keystone Mercy and call me back, but she didn't. So if it wasn't my insurance that was the issue it was that doctors were no longer taking new patients or they weren't taking someone (me) at 31 weeks! So, I'm too far along to get the care I need! This is completely stressing me out!!!!!!
Finally, I got a helpful piece of advice. The clinic at HUP, the hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. So, I called them to see if I could be seen....sure on May 13th! Wow, that's nearly a month away! And wouldn't it be nice to know who's going to be delivering this boy a little more than a few weeks before he's likely to be born.... well, great!
I did, on the recommendation of the scheduling operator, speak with the triage nurse and she said she would speak with the doctors and see if there was anyway to get my appointment moved up to an earlier date. I explained that I had all my records and would be seeing my midwives this Friday and will then have my complete chart. So, she said for me to bring this by after my appointment and they will looks it over and perhaps be able to move my appointment up.
Soooo, maybe HUP is where I will be delivering baby Deming Bird.
That's ok... you see I can only take what I can get right now. May 13th! At the clinic at HUP.
I'm exhausted....
And what is doubly painful is how hard it was to find this ultrasound appointment with this doctor. I'd spent all of April 1 on the phone trying to get an appointment ANYWHERE. I called the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, Lankenau Hospital, Thomas Jefferson University Hospital, and finally Bryn Mawr. And the only date I could get was 3 days AFTER the date the birthing center wanted me seen by. Also, I was sure that in 2 weeks not much would have changed in the realm of my placenta moving upward. So, I was becoming more comfortable with the idea that I would likely birth under obstetric care in the hospital, but NEVER did I think I would be facing a cesarean birth with no option or possibility for labor. Complete placenta previa, complete bummer...
And now the calls begin again. How do I find an OB to deliver my baby when I don't even have a gynecologist? Today, 2 full days into calls, I still don't have an appointment. I've called everyone that's been recommended to me. And what is apparent is that if you are on medicaid you aren't gonna be seen by a private practicing obstetrician. As one lady put it, there's just no money in state reimbursed insurance. She also said she would look into a place that might take Keystone Mercy and call me back, but she didn't. So if it wasn't my insurance that was the issue it was that doctors were no longer taking new patients or they weren't taking someone (me) at 31 weeks! So, I'm too far along to get the care I need! This is completely stressing me out!!!!!!
Finally, I got a helpful piece of advice. The clinic at HUP, the hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. So, I called them to see if I could be seen....sure on May 13th! Wow, that's nearly a month away! And wouldn't it be nice to know who's going to be delivering this boy a little more than a few weeks before he's likely to be born.... well, great!
I did, on the recommendation of the scheduling operator, speak with the triage nurse and she said she would speak with the doctors and see if there was anyway to get my appointment moved up to an earlier date. I explained that I had all my records and would be seeing my midwives this Friday and will then have my complete chart. So, she said for me to bring this by after my appointment and they will looks it over and perhaps be able to move my appointment up.
Soooo, maybe HUP is where I will be delivering baby Deming Bird.
That's ok... you see I can only take what I can get right now. May 13th! At the clinic at HUP.
I'm exhausted....
Friday, April 10, 2009
Kripalu on my mind
I decided to take a little retreat for myself and booked a stay and course at Kripalu this week. I know it will be a while before I am able to venture off and indulge in an away study as is possible at Kripalu. Also, I have been feeling like I've dropped the ball on self care and really need some built in good food and rest. I registered for a Prenatal Yoga for Conscious Birthing Teachers Training course. I feel this will be a good way to prepare for delivery as well as get some experience and certification for possibly teaching classes or courses or organizing retreats for other pregnant ladies in the future.
In addition to have some time away, some more food for thought and growth, my friend Stacey is there doing Seva and I am looking forward to catching up with her over these days.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So this is exactly what I needed. Already I feel so good.
From the first day it was yoga, good food, good people, good massage, good energy work, good classes....
I arrived Sunday and ran to the afternoon yoga class and found Stacey! Yay! What a great welcoming and a great way to work out the kinks of the 5 hour drive as well as reconnect with Kripalu. The subsequent days were a combination of hot tub soaks (very brief) and cold water plunges (only up to my thighs), great meals shared with Stacey, hikes out doors, yoga classes, course classes learning about mindful breathing, and positions for effective labor and delivery.
And what a great group of women we were in the teacher's training. Four of us were pregnant, two of us had recently had miscarriages, many were mothers, many weren't, all us of were yoga teachers and many of us in the doula, midwifery business. It was wonderful and our instructor held a good balance between spontaneity and following curriculum. I left feeling very excited, ready to share this knowledge with Andrew and further bring him into this experience. I'm so excited he will be able to really actively support me now, and I know he will want to know how he can help while I labor. Now he will have more skills as will I.
ommmmmm Shanti!
In addition to have some time away, some more food for thought and growth, my friend Stacey is there doing Seva and I am looking forward to catching up with her over these days.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So this is exactly what I needed. Already I feel so good.
From the first day it was yoga, good food, good people, good massage, good energy work, good classes....
I arrived Sunday and ran to the afternoon yoga class and found Stacey! Yay! What a great welcoming and a great way to work out the kinks of the 5 hour drive as well as reconnect with Kripalu. The subsequent days were a combination of hot tub soaks (very brief) and cold water plunges (only up to my thighs), great meals shared with Stacey, hikes out doors, yoga classes, course classes learning about mindful breathing, and positions for effective labor and delivery.
And what a great group of women we were in the teacher's training. Four of us were pregnant, two of us had recently had miscarriages, many were mothers, many weren't, all us of were yoga teachers and many of us in the doula, midwifery business. It was wonderful and our instructor held a good balance between spontaneity and following curriculum. I left feeling very excited, ready to share this knowledge with Andrew and further bring him into this experience. I'm so excited he will be able to really actively support me now, and I know he will want to know how he can help while I labor. Now he will have more skills as will I.
ommmmmm Shanti!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Previa, oh previa, where art thou previa?
Today I went to the Bryn Mawr birthing center for our prenatal appointment. I left feeling pretty good about it. They were pleased that the placenta is continuing to change position and the fibroid seems fairly stable at 8cm. I went alone for the first time, because Andrew hadn't known of the appointment and he had lots of work that day. On my way home the birthing center called to tell me they want me to have another ultrasound within 2 weeks of the last to determine where the placenta is. They said if it is still "cover the exit ramp" as one midwife is prone to say, I will need to find obstetric care for the remainder of my pregnancy and delivery. Oh boy did that bring up the tears. I could barely say the words to Andrew on the phone... they don't want me there, I'm too high risk. But won't it resolve itself? Didn't the doctor say he thought it was highly unlikely there would still be a problem at delivery?
wahhhhhhh
Well, the only place I could get an appointment was Bryn Mawr hospital. So come April 13th we will know. I already have a feeling that we won't be at the birthing center. I'm ok with that, I could be at a hospital, I remember how it went with Manu's delivery there. We made it what we needed it to be. I feel with our doula and all we will be just fine. I guess I will have wait and see though, maybe the placenta will move on up in these next few days... fingers crossed!
wahhhhhhh
Well, the only place I could get an appointment was Bryn Mawr hospital. So come April 13th we will know. I already have a feeling that we won't be at the birthing center. I'm ok with that, I could be at a hospital, I remember how it went with Manu's delivery there. We made it what we needed it to be. I feel with our doula and all we will be just fine. I guess I will have wait and see though, maybe the placenta will move on up in these next few days... fingers crossed!
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