It's a baby thing!

We flew down to Jacksonville for a baby shower and had a great time! It was Andrew's second visit with my family and friends. Everyone had a great time I think, the weather for the shower was beautiful and Mom had organized an Easter egg hunt for all the kiddies. There was plenty of food and drink and front porch space for everyone to lounge and mingle. Sean bought a big IT'S A BOY flag for all to see and folks showed up with arm loads of goodies for baby boy.

Most of the day was spent in preparation for the party. All the aunts showed up and we were busy cooking and decorating, and setting things up. Andrew went about his new favorite chore of cleaning the pool and patio and with his cousin, Brad, began hiding Easter eggs. Yeah, even Andrew had family there! His cousin Brad, from Michigan, is living in Tallahassee and drove over to Jax Saturday night to hang and then stayed for the shower/party on Sunday! So cool...

The party ended up being a sort of reunion for me. I had invited friends I hadn't seen since I left to move to Philly in 2005. So, although a fast reconnect it was sooo great to see everyone, their little babes or two and just be loving everyone and enjoying the great day.

We had tried to do a shower game or two but I knew the nature of this day would be party with a kiddies theme. Sure enough, people just took time to enjoy themselves, relax and reconnect. The games were never played and even gifts sat waiting for their moment to be revealed. When we were finally ushered into the living room to open gifts we were surrounded by a see of pretty pastel bags and boxes. Oh my. I had no idea there would be so much. Andrew was also a bit intimidated by the task before us. Now we were front and center with an audience of loved ones. Let the opening begin!

At first we started to alternate gifts, opening one and then the next, but it wasn't too long before I noticed Andrew cuddling the heart beat bear and all opening ceased while he closed his eyes, soothed by the sounds. We opened bottles and blankets, booties and onesies, sleep sacks and hats, and outfits and lovies. We opened more onesies (yay) and blankets (yay) and sleep sacks (yay) and then there was the "thing". I began to realize I was answering Andrew's questions of what something was with " it's a baby thing" or "you know, that thing for the baby". To the point where even others laughed at my earnest not knowing. We received some amazing gifts and I feel this baby will be snuggled and loved up so much in each gift he wears, plays with or cuddles to.

I'm sad the day passed so quickly even sadder as people began to pack up and leave. I love my friends so much and was so happy to have been able to share this with them. I am hoping this is also a sort of bridging of Jacksonville friends to my daily life in Philly. Time goes by so fast, I want to stay in better touch with everyone.

Positive Vibes!

So we just had our 28 week ultrasound. It was the first time I left the office feeling optimistic. Our baby is growing normally, and the placenta is migrating upward slowly. YAY! The doctor said he'd be surprised if it wasn't completely resolved by delivery time.... Oh joy! A positive update! And the baby is growing well, all within normal parameters! We also got more baby photos... the little face again (somehow these are strange and scary to me).... and the news that we are having a BOY!

We had initially decided to wait. Well, I had said at the very beginning that we've had our one BIG surprise, why bother with another? But then after further discussion we thought it would be fun to wait and so we avoiding it at our 20 week ultrasound. Well, I avoided it. Andrew, it seems, while we were being shown the upper legs was looking between the legs and was then certain he had seen something! And then began his 8 weeks of torture....is it or isn't it a boy?

Had he, in fact, seen what he thought he saw? So now he thought it was a boy but was not sure. Of course he wasn't, he isn't skilled at reading those images. Images my dad said resemble a recently driven through mud puddle. Well, nonetheless, Andrew was in mild agony and began asking whether we shouldn't in fact just find out! It seemed terribly ironic that our next ultrasound appointment wouldn't be until the Thursday before heading to Florida for a baby shower where no one yet knows the sex! Oh well, we'll have a surprise for everyone!

So yes, a big ultrasound day was had! We were given good news, and now know I'm growing a penis inside of me!

I hope all things continue to go well, I'd love to birth at Bryn Mawr's birthing center but if it turns out we have to be under an OB's care and birth at a hospital, so be it.
Come on placenta keep working your way up.

42 weeks

From the beginning I have found it a little confusing and more than a little annoying that the medical establishment has set a very specific (yet not specific to an individual) time schedule on fetal gestation. The idea that one counts the beginning of your pregnancy at a time when you're not even pregnant is just simply whack! I understand that it's for convenience sake. What bothers me about this is that by starting off on this footing it establishes the whole initial orientation towards pregnancy as that of "simply for convenience." Convenience then guides much of the following pre-natal, and delivery experience. How many other procedures, etc. are done to construct a seamless, predictable nature to pregnancy and delivery.

Where this really eats me up is in the fact that medical protocol now limits a baby's inutero development to 42 weeks. Now this is the 42 weeks measured that includes two weeks of bleeding and ovulating. And therefore, no baby. More and more of my friends are induced because they are given (how generous) 42 weeks to grow and deliver a baby. Now we all know that children develop outside the womb distinctly. Some talk sooner than others, walk later, grow teeth, potty train, and on and on. But ALL fetuses are to develop the same. See, I just don't buy it.

As I round corner after corner of this pregnancy I realize the pressure I feel always comes from trying to meet some expectation of the established normal pregnancy timeline. By such and such date the nucal fold should be this small, kidneys this big but no bigger, placenta this high, weight this much, labor starts by this time, cervix opens at this rate, and on and on...

How can folks still be trying to reign in nature, and such an entirely natural process? I am healthy, and if all is fine with the baby. Let the baby guide this process. At what point can I begin to trust this new being? I believe this individual will do what is best for both of us, even now. Conditions are good for both of us right now and yet there will arrive a time when it will be time to change, as in all things. And change will arrive and we will go with it. Rushing things feels so completely counter-intuitive. And inevitably to more and more medical intervention.

I am not rigid about my birth experience, in fact I have no expectations. We still don't even know if I will be invited to birth at the birthing center, or if I am high risk and will need a cesarean. But I do know there's a perverse need to try and work the system, squeeze out one extra day to my due date. I'm trying to use all methods available to get on the baby's timeline. I am nearly 28 weeks since my last period but this little being has only been growing for just over 25.

Already this infant is under pressure to deliver results at someone else's demands.